Dec 30th 2007

So here I am one week into the second year of my “wonderful” relationship, and why am I here? You know I had a conversation with him once where I told him that if I ever felt like he wasn’t giving 100% of what he was capable of giving then we might need to re-evaluate our relationship. I am at that cross roads today….. In the last 10 days he has either been ‘too busy”, “fallen asleep”, or “lost his phone” and has not called 5 of them, how am I supposed to feel about this?????? I can tell you how I DO feel… I feel snubbed, hurt, forgotten about, neglected, like a burdon, and like I’m sitting around wasting time. I mean hell one of those days was actually our anniversary and I couldn’t even get a phone call then, why am I still here? I used to think it was because I love him, and I do, but I know I cannot love him enough to make this work…. As much as I want this relationship, I also know I cannot sacrifice myself. So I have taken back as much of me as I can. I did what I know how to do best and have gotten my life back here in SD. I figure what better way to prepare myself for the inevitable. If he doesn’t want to make time for me in his life than why should I make time in mine? It may sound childish, but it is how I have to protect myself today.Thank God for the friends I have and that I knew not to ever lose contact with them over the course of this last year. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much, I mean really is a phone call once a day too much, if it is than I have to accept that I’m with the wrong person. The man I should be with should want to be with me when ever there is time for it, weather it be on the phone or in person, and not make excuses for why through out a 24 hour period I can’t even get a simple phone call, or hell even a text msg.So this is my mind this evening. Good to get it off my chest .